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FrontRangeLiving.com -> Family/Health -> Assisted Living - first of two part series
Moving a Parent Closer to you -- a Look at Assisted
Living
By Niki Hayden
 The growing national trend to choose assisted and independent-living
facilities for aging parents is linked to our longer life spans. “The average
baby boomer,” says Joe Brady from the University of Denver Institute of
Gerontology, “can expect to spend more time caring for their parents than
their kids.”
Last year Carol Wassmer moved her father, Adolphe Harrison, to Colorado.
Together, they searched for nearby housing. After the death of his wife, Adolphe, 85, turned to his family for
consolation. Even so, he didn’t move right away.
“One time he was with us for six months and we asked him if he’d like to
stay out here,” Carol says. “It’s hard to be alone. He’s healthy and
able to get around, but he doesn’t drive anymore.”
That’s why adult children often find themselves in the role of the long
distance caretaker, at least until a decision is made as to where the parent
should relocate. Sometimes a parent’s health is declining or aging parents
find the house too much work to keep up.
Carol and her father chose a facility that offered both independent and
assisted-living. Adolphe was assessed by a counselor for his ability to live on
his own.
“He does well with independent living because he can cook for himself,”
Carol says. “They do assess them for that capability. They will check his apartment to make sure
he is well and lunch or dinner is offered once a
day. I feel better because he has a secure building and there is a cord in the
bathroom and a cord in the living room that he can pull if he feels ill. And
then, when he’s here with us, he really helps out. During family parties,
he’s making coleslaw.”
DECIDING WHICH DOCUMENTS ARE NECESSARY
After their father’s move, Carol and her brother went back East with a
durable power of attorney to sell the family home. They returned with the
furniture they believed their dad would need.
A durable power of attorney gives you or another family member the broad
authority to make financial decisions with your parents’ resources.
When you move a parent to a new location, it’s a good time to talk to them
about how they want to be treated if they are unable to convey their wishes to
you. Ask them if they have made a will and if they also want a living will.
A living will describes a person’s wishes for extreme medical care—for
example, whether or not they want heroic measures to sustain life. Under
Colorado law, two physicians must state in writing that an individual has a
terminal illness and has been in a coma for at least seven days before they will
cut off life support.
Boulder attorney Greg Schlender, who practices law with an emphasis on
trusts, estates and elder law, says that often families wait too long: “If you
wait until a parent is not competent or unconscious, then you have to go to
court. We see that all the time.”
Also, consider a health care proxy, especially if your parent suffers from
any illness with dementia. Like a durable power of attorney for finances, this
gives you broad authority to determine the health care for your parent.
Carol says that she and her brother were lucky, because everything went
smoothly. But even in the most easygoing families, disputes may arise. Emotions
are complex when a family home is sold and siblings find themselves making
decisions about their parents. Professionals, whether attorneys or counselors
who specialize in issues of the elderly, may help soothe a family’s frazzled
nerves.
FUTURE TRENDS
No one can predict the future with any certainty, except that the baby boomer
generation will swell the numbers of the aging--pushing the average life span
to new records. Will it break the National Budget? Not necessarily, Brady
contends. By the year 2057, if we don’t change our health habits, he predicts
that nearly 100 percent America’s Gross National Product will be spent for
healthcare.
“Nearly 80 percent of our health care costs are linked to diet, lack of
exercise and smoking,” he says. Even so, all current signs of hospitalization
indicate that Americans are changing their habits—for the better. Fewer
elderly are hospitalized or placed in nursing homes than ever before.
What about those 20 percent whose illnesses are caused by genetic factors or
unknown carcinogens? “We can afford that percent,” he says, “And it’s
even possible to help our parents with Alzheimer’s live a quality of life.
It’s tragic for the family, of course. But we can give them good care.”
HELPFUL TIPS
If you’re a long distance caretaker, one solution may be to seek out
the Agency for the Aging where your parent lives. Run by the Administration on
Aging, this federally and state-mandated program provides transportation and
nutritional oversight. Many offer volunteers who will fix minor house repairs.
The AOA, as it is called, has branch offices in every county nationwide.
Check the local telephone book under the name of the county where your parents
live: for example, Douglas County Agency of Aging. For Colorado,
contact the Division of
Aging at 303-620-4147. For nationwide help use the Eldercare Locator service
available from the National Association of Area
Agencies on Aging. Contact them at 1-800-677-1116 or at their web site.
To defuse a potentially contentious situation among siblings, consider
putting together a team of advisors: a real estate agent for the sale, a lawyer
or law service for wills and living wills, a financial planner to go over
investments, social security and pensions. Professionals can reduce the stress
and disagreements that arise.
Other resources on legal issues:
Additional helpful web sites:
- The Eldercare Network is a privately run agency in Colorado that may help you
assess the needs of your parent.
- The Aging and Adults Services for Colorado web site
offers support and advice.
- So many assisted living facilities are popping up that it’s hard to keep up
with the newest. There is an industry web site that can narrow your search in
any area. And although it doesn’t rate the quality of care, you will be able
to glean basic information including ownership, cost or religious affiliation at
www.alfa.org
- A selection of assisted living facilities in Colorado, www.assisted-living-directory.com/content/colorado.htm
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